View Full Version : You might be a Riceboy if...

07-02-2002, 01:30 PM

... you find yourself using the excuse 'yo, but you gots twice as many cylindas, dude after EVERY race
... you drive a 4 door 'type R'
... your gumby pants make it hard to shift
... more than 20 of your mods involve shielding what is actually underneath
... you have stickers that even most asians don't get
... you have stickers for parts you dont have
... you refer to 50hp as the 'big shot'
... your car has so much camber it can drive on its side
... when you drive by, WWII veterans run for shelter
... your exhaust tip diameter is 4 times the inner muffler diameter
... you have 'power by' anything anywhere on a car made by the engine manufacturer
... birds make nests on your spoiler because its taller than the trees
... you sell crack for the image...not the money
... you have 'N/T' polished on the side of car and you don't know what bracket racing is...
... you will only race if the other guy removes four sparkplugs
... you can't race uphills
... you have "All Motor" emblazoned on your rear hatch right next to your 14.50 dial in
... you brag to have nitrous and have a 14.50 dial in
... your exhaust system for your 1.8L is bigger than most Pro-stock cars
... you spent more money on stickers and stripes than your parents paid for your car
... you go to a performance shop and immediately start rummaging through the decal bin
... your tach is bigger than your head
... you have a shiftlight and your car is an automatic
... you refuse to race because it's a "show car"
... your only mods are cut factory springs and a 5" chrome exhaust tip
... at Autocross events you don't participate because you have a drag race setup and at drag events you brag about kicking ass on the autocross.
... you have more lights on the front of your car than the USS Voyager
... you brag about a turbo kit that never seems to get installed.
... your exhaust sounds like a dying Moose
... your bright green $300 air filter is bigger than your engine.

Cheers, :cool:

07-04-2002, 08:53 AM

You keep racing after losing at the past 7 lights.

Your girl is in the passenger seat, looking at me and my hot car.

You think your seat-mounted video screens intimidate people.

You stole the spoiler off a semi-truck.

You have 140HP now, instead of the stock 127HP, and you think you da' $hit.

You have a 'spyder' label on hard-top model.

You drive with your other rice-boys, weaving in and out of traffic, like a bunch of Harley Kids on crack.

You think that speeding 100MPH past everyone else going 75 means that your car is fast.

Your tires wear out every 2,000 miles, due to your hacked spring job, and lack of alignment.

You only wish you had the 50,000 Japanese model, that will never hit the U.S. streets, but hell, you pretend and make yourself look like an a$$.


07-08-2002, 09:14 AM
HAHA...I like them...

Cheers, :cool:

07-09-2002, 03:43 PM
-your bench press is the same as your credit card limit (both max out at about 50 pounds)

-"all performance cars have tires that rub the fenderz"

-decisions, decisions.. Hair bleach, or seat belt pads?

-your stereo can effectively turn your clear turn signals 'amber' due to the wattage drain from your 40 amp alternator

-when girls look at you, it's with the same face they look at a train wreck with

-you know what "bling bling" means

-you use the term 'bling bling'

-hooked on phonics DIDN'T work for you.

-you use your stereo to conceal 'performance' noises your car makes now that you have added your 'mods'

You fit the equation: bleached hair + acne + sunvisor = riceboy