Matt's Rides - tales of many losses

[djbobbyzee]

A kill story of a different kind. LITERAL killing of vehicles.

Okay, so in my last thread I mentioned my friend Matt & his Super Jetta. Matt has a history with cars... a torrid history. At age 21 he has buried more vehicles than any young man I know.

Vehicle 1: Mom's Taurus. He souped up the family car by simply turning it into the CLi model. CLi-Taurus. Hope you got that one. No. It's no joke. He really made his car a cli torus. The Taurus had a short life. Transmission lost from multiple Dukes of Hazard jumps. One I remember vaguely. I was drunk & unconscious in the back seat, woke up & recall the trees passing the car going from back to front. Matt was looking over his shoulder steering the car backwards after jumping it onto an icy road. Controlled landing, think not. We survived, only hit a snow bank. Taurus didn't last much longer.

Vehicle 2: 86 Trans Am. Good job Matt. American Muscle. Except you had to enter the car from the rear hatch if locked & start it w/ a screw driver. Yes, Matt was nearly arrested many times for starting his own vehicle (mistaken for theft). The T/A only lasted a few months as he was T-boned by a Vette. Hoorah. 2 GM vehicles down in 1 kill. Somehow, Matt was found at fault. Not sure how, but people w/ money & vettes are funnly like that.

Vehicle 3: Olds Delta 88. AKA the TANK. This thing looked like Mr. Sopprano drove it to carry bodies to the Hudson. Fuggetabout it! No exhaust. Bald tires. But it would not die. Matt drove THRU a Grand Am. This time he DIDN'T get the ticket. G/A totalled. Delta needed 1 whack to the fender. It was retired to Matt's back yard. Out of boredom before the wrecker came we tried to blow the motor... damn thing never tossed a rod. I swear it was Christine!

see next post for more....

[djbobbyzee]

Vehicle 4: 98 Talon TSi. Poor Matt always wanted a Foxbody GT. He finally had the chance to pick one up when the ins check came from hitting the G/A (yeah he got PAID for that)... He test drove an 89 with his dad. Matt being 18 at the time & living at home didn't have much say so after he made his father skidmark his undies by the way he drove... & father decided "no mustang." Matt settled for the Talon. Not bad. AWD. Turbo. Quick. RICE! Matt began to worry my in the Talon days. We were losing our redneck GM boy to the Rice-Side. Turbo timer, large waste gate, mod blow-off valve... But the Talon at 130K was starting to protest a bit. Puffs of blue smoke at boosted RPM. So what does boy wonder do? Gets a Boost Controller & jacks his boost up to 32 lbs!!!! Pop goes the mo-tor. The Talon now resides on blocks in the driveway. The new motor resides in the garage. Will the 2 ever marry? Time will tell.

Vehicle 5: 86 (?) VW Jetta. For $300 you can NEVER go wrong on a Jetta! You can't kill em if you try! Ofcourse Matt now has converted to a Dub-Head. Everything was V-Dub. He began rollin with the Dub-Crew in town. SO hysterical. He actualy bought & put a Fatboy bumper on it... Which I was suckered into HELPING with. I did the bondo & body work. Helped install the system & subs. But no matter how you polish it.. it's still a turd... Matt finally realized the error of his ways. Our next insatall project was GIANT HELI Offroad lights drilled direct into the bumper. Why? Well to go MUDDIN ofcourse...

continued next post... my AOL slows down with alot of text....

[djbobbyzee]

Vehicle 5 cont: Yes. You read it right. Muddin' at Paragon (huge pit in NJ). He took a VW Jetta offroading. 2 major incidents. First, he flew over a trail head & landed square on the frame rail below the door. Torqued. Bigtime. Second, he wound up windshield deep in a pond deep mudhole. They toed him out. Somehow the car started. Next project, Nirous Purge... well kinda. 2Fast 2Silly just released & the Skyline inspired Matt. The Talon was still dead in the water (he's lazy did I mention that?)... & he had too much time on his hands. He shows up at my garage with a bottle of Computer cleaner, turns it upside down & says "look! NOS purge!" I shook my head. He drags me to Home Depot, we find thin plastic tubing, run it up out the hood at the windshield sprayers, hook it up to the upside down Comp Cleaner bottle, & he sprays. Looks real. Still shaking my head going... "Matt, I could have had the head off your Talon... dude, why waste your time?" None the less... he had EVERY gullible ricer in north jersey convinced he was running a 150 shot in an old beat up jetta. The Jetta was finally retired for his Jeep. It wouldn't die. He sold it to some Argentinian guys who worked for me to drive home to South America in. He sold it for $700. $400 more than he bought it for.

Vehicle 6: 99 Jeep. Alive for now. Just lifted it. Will probably flip. Plus he's 21 now. Just imagine the trips home from the bar with this kid!

Somehow, I'm glad I live in NC now. Safer.

Hope y'all enjoyed the "Kill" stories of Jack@$$ Inc.
Maybe 1 day he'll have a real car.

[RF Cobra]

You made me remember the exploits of a younger friend of mine. Parents bought him an Acura Integra for his first car. Good thing they bought it early and his mom drove it for awhile because once he got it, demolition derby. The last incident I know of, a tree jumped out in front of him in the middle of the road. That was his story and he was sticking to it. What actually happened: he had an off road excursion while driving carelessly and ran over a small tree (Acura 1, tree 0) and then hit a larger tree (Acura 1, tree 10). However his story was always that he was driving along minding his own business then out of nowhere there was this tree in the middle of the road (jaywalking I guess).

[scocher]

Bobby, all I can say about your "friend" is It makes me feel better about my daughter who at the ripe old age of 17 slammed into our pickup truck parked in the driveway directly BESIDE her. That's right. Her car was parked parallel to our truck in the driveway. She was in a big @$$ hurry and didn't realize her wheels were turned when she floored it and right into our then-3-month old vehicle. $1,200 in damage which she had to pay.

I know part of the problem is kids are kids and a little bit but I don't think driver's ed prepares them for real driving, and traffic gets worse every day I'm really worried about my 14 year old starting to drive next year.

[djbobbyzee]

Originally Posted by RF Cobra

You made me remember the exploits of a younger friend of mine. Parents bought him an Acura Integra for his first car. Good thing they bought it early and his mom drove it for awhile because once he got it, demolition derby. The last incident I know of, a tree jumped out in front of him in the middle of the road. That was his story and he was sticking to it. What actually happened: he had an off road excursion while driving carelessly and ran over a small tree (Acura 1, tree 0) and then hit a larger tree (Acura 1, tree 10). However his story was always that he was driving along minding his own business then out of nowhere there was this tree in the middle of the road (jaywalking I guess).

RF Cobra... it's okay to come out of the closet and admit you owned an Accura. It's okay to be gay these days. "My friend owned an Accura..." pishaw! Just like saying "My FRIEND has a drinking problem," or "this FRIEND I know is into little boys." It's okay. Just say it once. "I owned an Accura, and I'm okay with that."

I'm just kidding of course... I believe it's not you. And it's nevr okay to own an accura... unless you OWN it in a race....

socher... yes. Matt's a retard. Lovable, but dumb as bricks. So she slammed into the parked car? Would loved to have been a fly on the wall when she tried to explain her way out of that... "Mom, you'll never guess what just happened."

[RF Cobra]

I briefly considered an STi last year but then I test drove a Cobra for a weekend. Where do you see any foreign cars on this list?

Vehicles owned:

1986? Malibu Classic (chevy), 1987 Cutlass Salon (Olds), 1988 Tbird Sport ( ), 2 1993 Escorts ( ), 1994 Tbird LX 4.6 ( ), 1995 Tbird LX 4.6 ( ), 1996 Ranger XLT ( ), 1987 Tbird TurboCoupe ( ), 1994 Aerostar XLT AWD ( ), 2003 Taurus SEL Centennial ( ), 2004 SVT Cobra ( ) [on loan from my 5yr old son until he is old enough to drive - or so he thinks!]

In 1990 the stupid Mazda dealer that had the '88 Tbird Sport kept trying to get me to buy a '90 MX-6. I let them talk me into driving it for a few days and it made my wifes 1985.5 escort seem like a luxury car in comparison.

Point was it is not the smartest idea to give a kid who just got his license a brand new car. The first year he had the car it spent as much (or more) time in the body shop as it did on the road. We had another friend's father tell a group of 100+ of us one day that he had just bought his son a new Mustang GT for his 16th birthday and if any of us saw him driving irresponsibly we were supposed to notify him immediately. Yeah right. Like a group of 16-19 year olds is going to do that.

[scocher]

Originally Posted by djbobbyzee

socher... yes. Matt's a retard. Lovable, but dumb as bricks. So she slammed into the parked car? Would loved to have been a fly on the wall when she tried to explain her way out of that... "Mom, you'll never guess what just happened."

We were home! There was no explaining to be done She did try to excuse her idiocy with, "It's not MY fault. I'm late, and I was in a hurry."
Luckily, the Cobra (then a black 99) was in our garage!! There would've been to pay. My husband probably would've her!

[Stavesacre21]

Wow, i must say that this kid is one of craziest kids i think i've EVER heard of!! I mean, destorying all your cars is one thing, but some of the wacky antics that he pulled seemed to be the parts that made me laugh out loud...the nos purge does seem to be leading the pack....omg i could only imagine what other cars thought when they saw this POS jetta purging NOS....LoL

[Stavesacre21]

Originally Posted by RF Cobra

Point was it is not the smartest idea to give a kid who just got his license a brand new car. The first year he had the car it spent as much (or more) time in the body shop as it did on the road. We had another friend's father tell a group of 100+ of us one day that he had just bought his son a new Mustang GT for his 16th birthday and if any of us saw him driving irresponsibly we were supposed to notify him immediately. Yeah right. Like a group of 16-19 year olds is going to do that.

I tell ya....i NEVER understood what motivated parents to buy their newly licensed kiddies new cars (other then an excess of money, which i know we ALL suffer from ). I saw the exact same thing when I was in HS 5 years ago, and i was like...parents are crazy! Once kid STARTED with an RX-7 with like, 2000 miles on it. After wrecking that, he managed to pick up another cheap little trinket called a 300ZX (brand new condition, of course). After pullin that one out infront of a semi (and amazingly walking away), mom and dad decided that they'd better quit givin him nice cars...so lets just step him down a 94 Supra. .

I tell ya...I couldn't agree more then sayin to give um the family $2000 junker and a cell phone . See how they treat it and drive it, and then go from there once they graduate from HS...if yur still feelin obligated, that is

[scocher]

Man, I'm glad to see opinions like that! My daughter (now 23) was perturbed because all her friends were getting NEW cars, and she got a '92 Mitsubishi Mirage. I say I didn't even HAVE a car until I graduated from H.S., and that was because I bought it myself! This is the car she ran into our truck in the driveway. Later, she totalled it because she just HAD to go somewhere immediately after a tornado. Trees were down all over the place and, of course, that causes accidents. Her 2nd car was a '96 Olds Sierra we, also, got her against her will. "That's a grandma car!" Again, I say She had a friend who wrecked a fairly new car, and then her parents got her a brand new car. I agree with you - Some people have more money than they know what to do with.

[scocher]

My husband just told me about a guy at work who bought his 16 year old (about 5 years ago) and 1996 Cobra!!! Lucky kid!

[Superschwan427]

i am proud to say i am one of those stupid kids. My parents purchased a 2000 Olds Alero 4-dr for a car for my older brother and i. we tore that car to pieces and last summer i finally blew the engine. for a while it had the mandatory dual 4 inch fart cans place side by side ( OO ) on the left, very sweet, had KnN, and for too short a while a computer chip. coffcoffRICEcoffcoff. Not exactly what i was hoping for in a first car, i personally am more of the v8 rwd sort of guy. so now that i am shopping those are my only two criteria with manual tans preferable. Anybody giving away their mustang?

[Stavesacre21]

Originally Posted by Superschwan427

Anybody giving away their mustang?

Oh didn't you hear! SVT mentioned that from here on...everyone with a drivers licence gets a Cobra effective immediately


Yeah, that Alero woulda been a nice catch for a youngin...when i got my license in 98, i was gifted from above with a 86 honda civic it didn't even have AC for cryin out loud! . Wanna truly see a moped engine in a car?! lol...the ole 1.4 liter got me form point a to point b....kinda

[Stavesacre21]

Originally Posted by scocher

My husband just told me about a guy at work who bought his 16 year old (about 5 years ago) and 1996 Cobra!!! Lucky kid!

Yea, speaking of...we have a 16yo owner in the club! However, this lil tike is tryin to pay for his own...i couldn't FATHOM that at 16 I could barely pay for gas for a 4 banger honda