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Old 03-11-2005, 11:32 PM   #1
djbobbyzee
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H is for "Ha Ha Ha Honda"

Who, what, where, when did anyone ever come up with the notion Honda is a fast car? Yes, this is probably the Trillionth post about a Honda beatdown. Just a funny tale from this evening I'd like to share.

SO here in Wilmington NC if a Honda has a fart pipe, intake, Wal-Mart spinner wheels & a kid lookin ghetto-fabulous with his hat turned sideways... does that mean he's a racer? Apparently. Also, if he leans reeeeeeeeeeeaaaally far over & back in his seat, does it make his car go faster? Apparently as well.

I'm driving home from work. 3.3 miles total. I pull out of the office complex & a set of import headlights comes tearing up on my right. Brain says "let him go, waste of time." Foot says "gotta go, mash the pedal." Brain wins battle 1.

Dopey the Home Dog slows down next to me & starts revving his obnoxious little 4 banger. Brain says "Ignore him. Waste of time." Foot screams, "C'mon dude, he's begging to be embarassed." Brain wins battle 2.

Seeing that I've given him the utter disrespect of looking over at him & laughing, and then ignoring him... the little ricer cuts in front of me & jams on his breaks at a light. Brain says, "Okay, time to re-consider." Fist says, "pull him out of car & beat him in middle of road." Foot says, "Law suit dude. Let me do my thing."

Light turns. He screams off to next light, cuts me off again. Same scenario. Brain says, "lets all work together & punish him." Rest of body & the Cobra agree...

Light turns, he pops his clutch. I ease it out & roll agressively in 1st... he pulls ahead hard... I nail second & wind it up to 5800, pass him with the bird swingin' out the window, punch third, & coast up to the next light.

He pulls pulls up, rolls down his window & says... do you have Nitrous in that?

I look over, say "No. Just horsepower & a bat. You've met my horspower, cut me off again, you & your car will meet my bat."

He drove off quite gingerly.

What a nice way to start a relaxing weekend.

Bob
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Old 03-12-2005, 02:36 PM   #2
cobracrazy
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SO SWEEEEET!!!!

I Hate the Honda's. I really hate that they think they are fast.
I am really glad you pounded him. (and did not get into trouble)
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Old 03-13-2005, 09:47 PM   #3
casey99COBRA
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lol good one.
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Old 03-13-2005, 09:55 PM   #4
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I think most of these guys just want to hear a real car's exhaust.
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Old 03-13-2005, 10:36 PM   #5
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That's an awesome kill story!
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Old 03-14-2005, 01:52 AM   #6
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Beautifully depicted kill....flows like poetry....

I agree though...when did the world Honda translate into fast? Once again, a big thanx to movies like Fast&the Furious for stirring the pool of morons
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Old 03-14-2005, 08:57 AM   #7
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Im not a fan of those yahoo's who slap on a fart can and intake and think they are fast...but Ive got a few Honda's that'll drag you down the track...I know b/c they've beaten me in my '04...just be careful, some of those fart cans will surprise you
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Old 03-14-2005, 09:30 AM   #8
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There maybe a Honda out there that can beat an 03-04 Cobra but.... You will have to look for them. Those cars are not the majority. The guys that own those cars are true car enthusiasts and I respect their work and love of cars.

It is the "Auto-Zone" fart-can Honda I think we all despise!!
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Old 03-14-2005, 10:51 AM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cobracrazy

It is the "Auto-Zone" fart-can Honda I think we all despise!!
Amen brother, I would'nt feel too bad if I got smoked by a honda, as long as he had like 20 or 30 grand in his engine!
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Old 03-14-2005, 06:32 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cobracrazy

It is the "Auto-Zone" fart-can Honda I think we all despise!!
Very well put...come to think of, i have seen maybe 2 imports around here that seem to put their all into theirs, and indeed, they can scoot. It's just that majority seems to ruin the name for those who take their modding seriously
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Old 03-14-2005, 10:56 PM   #11
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I have a question. If we had to follow the ricer philosophy of adding huge spoilers to increase downforce on the non-drive wheels, how are we supposed to see once we bolt a Cobra R, or a biplane spoiler on the hood?

As far as the stickers go I know I lost some hp on my car because I removed the dealer's sticker off the trunk after I got it home. I just wish I had done a baseline dyno first so I would know how much hp I lost and how much extra I am going to have to do to make up for it.

Do you think adding one of those stickers that says "The person driving this car is a complete idiot" in Japanese would get back the hp I lost from removing the dealer sticker?
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Old 03-14-2005, 10:59 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RF Cobra
As far as the stickers go I know I lost some hp on my car because I removed the dealer's sticker off the trunk after I got it home. I just wish I had done a baseline dyno first so I would know how much hp I lost and how much extra I am going to have to do to make up for it.
You can just do what I did and put the SCMC club side window decals on. That'll make up that lost horsepower for you, I think I got 10rwhp each for mine
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Old 03-14-2005, 11:03 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by InfamousSVT
You can just do what I did and put the SCMC club side window decals on. That'll make up that lost horsepower for you, I think I got 10rwhp each for mine
That will work! Plus I just remembered I have to get a new club sticker. The one I got when we joined is still attached to the original windshield in a junkyard somewhere so I am giving up power there too!
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Old 03-15-2005, 12:35 AM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RF Cobra
I have a question. If we had to follow the ricer philosophy of adding...
I've spent years working at this, & in my secret laboooorrrr-a-tory (said like "Dexter") I believe I've discovered their formula:

Yellow = Fast. Adding yellow wire looms on every piece of the motor adds 20 hp.

Lean. The more you lean towards the transmission, the faster the car will go. You're centering your mass over the focal drive point. Add 5 hp for every pound you place on the center console.

Bass = speed. The more ass bubbling bass you have, & the muddier it sounds, the faster your car is. Sub frequency boosts the harmonic balance of your 4cyl motor. For ever false 400W add 3 hp. Sony ROCKS yo.

Every sticker = 5hp. Big gaudy stickers that clash with your paint scheme = 20 hp.

Debadge your vehicle. Make sure know one knows you have the SL model from mom. If you THINK it's fast, it must be.

For every teen-age girl you hang with add 10 hp. Their cell phones & hormonal imbalance will add octane to your fuel via osmosis.

Neon means speed. Start with your license plate. Then do under your seats. When you're a real rice racer, you've got the money to do an under car kit. For every neon add 2hp.

Now don't forget the CAI & Fart pipe. AEM rates up to 30hp gains!!! We all know to double that b/c it's not how you dyno, it's how you LOOK like you dyno!

Finally, brag alot. Wow the ladies with your tales of 140 hp! That is how to win against a Cobra. Beat them with your mind.. IN your mind.

Equation solved.

Bobby
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Old 03-15-2005, 01:46 AM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RF Cobra
Do you think adding one of those stickers that says "The person driving this car is a complete idiot" in Japanese would get back the hp I lost from removing the dealer sticker?
Don't hold yur breath

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